Wario Worlds
by HyperMetal
Summary: Doc Crygor's latest invention, the Crygoporter, malfunctions horribly, destroying the entire Mushroom Universe. To appease the driving force of all dimensions and ultimately save his world, and friends, as well as making a quick buck , Wario must travel through several worlds and locate the Dimensional Hearts, meeting some familiar faces along the way.


"Are…are you serious?"

"Of course. He may not be the most obvious or scrupulous hero, but he is the only one who possesses the abilities and means to carry out such a task."

"I cannot say I agree, but…you are our Elder, and I will respect your decision."

"It is not your duty to agree with me. It is your duty to perform my will."

"Yes, Elder."

"Everyone, please!" Dr. Crygor shouted, doing his best to settle his fellow WarioWare Incorporated employees down with the aid of his niece, Penny. "I'm about to make an amazing announcement!" The tiny lab room was barely enough to hold the upwards of fifteen people occupying it, not helped by the fact that fluorescent lights droned overhead and the majority of the room was taken up by a makeshift stage, upon which sat a large, oblong surprise underneath what appeared to be an old bed sheet. A growl came from the small crowd.

"Why dontya announce where 'dem snacks is?" Dribble barked, "I'm starvin' over here!" Spitz nodded enthusiastically in agreement with his partner.

"Yeah! We's sta'vin' out hea!" he mewed in his tiny, screechy voice. The doctor sighed, rubbing his forehead. Mona, the enthusiastic sales associate, piped up over the ravenous animals.

"Yo, Doc, where's Wario at?" she shouted, jumping into the air to get a better view. Ashley, the young sorceress next to her, sat atop her "dear" pet devil, Red.

"He's probably too busy pickin' his nose! Maybe he'll find some more gold coins up there!" The rest of the employees laughed, including Penny. Dr. Crygor scolded her as she giggled.

"Come on, Crygor, just hurry up and make your announcement!" Jimmy T., disco superstar shouted in his funkiest of voices, "I gotta get back to the club so I can get down! My funkometer's getting pretty low standing in this boring laboratory all day."

Mike stepped onto stage, handing his built-in microphone to his creator, who shouted into it as loud as possible. Even Mike cringed from the noise. "EVERYONE, BE QUIET! WE CAN'T BEGIN UNTIL OUR BOSS ARRIVES!" As if on cue, the double doors exploded open, throwing Young Cricket and Master Mantis out of the way. The elder landed quietly on his feet, while Young Cricket simply face-planted into the clean tile.

"All-a right, Wario's here!" the muscled millionaire shouted, munching on a massive, garlic-heavy meatball sub. "What-a you bozos want? I've-a got better places to be!" Dr. Crygor and the rest of the employees sighed with glee, ready to finally get this show on the road.

"Welcome, esteemed CEO! With our beloved boss here, we can finally begin the presentation!" the doctor danced across the stage, his kitchen-yellow spandex wriggling around his elderly form. Mona put a hand to her mouth, in a desperate attempt to keep her lunch down. Penny sighed heavily. "Without, further ado, I present to you, [i]The Crygoporter[/i]!" With a swift movement of the hand, the bed sheets were whisked away, revealing a large, round device that appeared to be a mechanical donut.

Everyone clapped dully for a few moments, before Wario finally shouted, "What the heck is it?" The crowd nodded and murmured similar concerns, simultaneously intrigued by the device and bored out of their minds. Dr. Crygor laughed.

"Why, simple, my friends!" he chuckled, "It is a window- nay, a door! A door to another dimension!" That got everyone's attention. 9-Volt's jaw dropped wide open, along with his best friend 18-Volt's.

"So, you're saying, with it, we could go to like…a Nintendo universe?!" 9-Volt asked, hopefully. His taller friend was on the verge of drooling. Dr. Crygor sighed.

"Boy, those are just video games," he grunted, "We're talking about real-life alternate dimensions! Ones similar to our own, yet vastly different at the same time! The research opportunities are absolutely endless!" 9-Volt crossed his arms and harrumphed.

"Wait a sec," Wario said, parting his employees and stepping to the front of the crowd, "You-a sayin' that I can step through that donut thing and pop out in-a some other world?" Dr. Crygor nodded slowly.

"Why, uh, yes," he explained. "It's quite simple, really, and with further testing, it'll be ready for use by anyone." Wario's eyes lit up with dollar signs, remembering his past excursions to different worlds: all of which were filled with treasure.

"Testin', schmestin'!" he growled, leaping up onto the stage and grabbing the massive lever that was labeled "POWER", "I smell-a CASH!" The doctor attempted to stop his boss, but he was nowhere near strong enough to prevent the disaster from happening. Wario's massive arms shifted the lever, causing the machine to spark to life.

"No! Mr. Wario, I haven't calibrated the energy field resistors yet!" Crygor shouted, shielding Penny from what was about to happen. Mike stepped in front of the pair of humans who'd helped in his creation, doing his best to protect them, but in the end, it meant nothing.

"What's-a that mean?" Wario asked, scratching his bum as the machine began to whirr and hum. Sparks of energy shot from the mechanical ring.

"It means that the dimensional wormhole will devour Diamond City!" he shouted, "If not the entire Mushroom World!" The beefy adventurer cackled, nervously.

"Eh, uh-oh," he said, raising his voice over the increasing decibels of the machine's processes. Within a few seconds, a tiny bubble of energy had formed in the center of the ring, prompting the rest of the employees to get out of the lab immediately, but it was already too late. As soon as it had formed, the bubble exploded. Dr. Crygor's lab was instantly engulfed by blinding light, as was the rest of Diamond City.

It seemed like a lifetime before Wario opened his eyes again. He groaned, putting one fingerless-gloved hand to his head. "Mama mia…" he mumbled, looking around. It looked like he was back on the streets of Diamond City…but something was significantly different about them. It seemed like they were floating in the abyss quite a bit more than usual today. Save a chunk of road and a few now-empty buildings lit by an unknown source, everything around him was inky, stirring darkness.

"I trust your trip wasn't too unpleasant?"

Wario's pointed ears perked up at the sound of the calm, genderless voice from nowhere, prompting him to bring himself from his back to his feet. "Who's-a there?" he growled, clenching his fists. "Where am I?"

"Why, Diamond City, Wario! Don't you recognize it?" the voice retorted, rather sarcastically. Wario snorted, annoyed.

"Very funny, Bub. What's-a goin' on here?" he replied, beefy arms crossed.

"Well, it seems your greed has finally torn your world completely asunder." Wario cackled.

"HA! The Mario Bros. owe me a million coins, then!" he roared with laughter. Lifted by an unseen force, Wario left the ground. "'Ey! What-a you doin'?! Put me down!"

"Will you listen?" Wario groaned, scratching his bum from his upside-down position.

"Fine. But you better-a make it quick, I ain't got all…" the bulky man looked around, silently, "Well, make it quick anyway."

"Good," the voice sighed, dropping Wario flat on his head, "Now, like I've said, your world has been torn to shreds." Wario nodded, righting his hat and pulling himself to his feet.

"We've-a covered that, Jack. Tell me somethin' I don't-a know."

"This was supposed to happen," the voice continued. Wario scratched his stubble-covered chin. "We needed you to come to the pocket between dimensions."

"Woah, hey," Wario interrupted, waving his arms, "'We'? Who's-a 'we'?"

"Don't worry about that. We…I needed you to come here so that you could do us…me…a bit of a favor."

"A favor, eh?" the stocky CEO repeated, "What kinda favor? Does it involve-a money?" The voice sighed, continuing.

"Coincidentally, your friends and employees have been scattered across the multiverse, with no way to get back. Our mission for you is this: simply find the Dimensional Heart of each world, and check on it." Wario shrugged.

"So, to get my-a buddies back, I have-a to go around to these different worlds, make sure this Dimensional Heart thing is-a A-OK, then hightail it back here?" Wario flexed nonchalantly. "Piece of cake. I've-a beat harder games in-a my sleep."

"I'm sure you have. By the way, I'm sure you'll want this," the voice grunted, as if giving some sort of effort. In the blink of an eye, Wario's chopper sat in front of him, it's engine putting calmly.

"Oh, yeah, baby!" he shouted, jumping on it eagerly, "Time-a to ride through time and space, Wario-style!" The voice chuckled quietly.

"Of course. Now, each world's Dimensional Heart is different. It is what keeps that world in balance, and keeps it separate from other worlds. Without them, all worlds would bleed together and cease to exist." Wario held his hand up, making a "blah blah blah" motion with it. The voice sighed.

"Can we-a go, already? I'm-a getting' bored."

"Yes, of course. Just hit the gas."

"'Ey-a, wait a sec, Bub," Wario grunted, forgetting his earlier boredom, "What's our world's Dimensional Heart thingy?" The voice didn't respond for a moment, then hummed, pondering.

"A mystical vessel called the Cosmic Observatory, if I'm not mistaken," it explained, "But don't worry about that. Your world's not in any danger, as it's already destroyed anyway." The voice's chipper tone was a bit offsetting.

"Er, uh, okay," the meaty millionaire coughed, "Let's-a go, then!" Wario put the pedal to the metal as hard as possible, causing his hog to roar to life. It blasted forward, blue sparks trailing from its exhaust, then disappeared entirely from the dark Main Street of Diamond City.


End file.
